Their Hearts Don't Beat Like Ours
by paper smiles
Summary: Wincest. Set after episode 5 of season 8. / Dean and Sam have a talk about Benny.


This is my first SPN fanfic, aha. My first time writing Wincest, and incest in general I'm sure. It's moderate, i.e.: no sex but I did get some kisses in so. Yeah, if you're gonna bitch about incest being wrong pls take yourself elsewhere.

This was written for a friend, who thought it was great but could use some editing in some places, but y'know she didn't mention what places. So, some concrit would be great. Please and thank you.

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No words were crossed between the two brothers as they boarded their car. Neither Dean nor Sam so much as coughed or sneezed on their way to the motel. Each Winchester's set of eyes was focused on the dull scenery in front of them. Sam pretended that the dark gaps between the trees at his right side were a treasure to be admired. Dean acted like the road in front of him would lead him to his mother and father. He couldn't look away.

They arrived and entered their room in silence. Sam bee-lined to his bed and let himself fall face-first into his set of pillows, not bothering to take his jacket off. Dean stepped into the bathroom. He stared into the mirror at his reflection, finally taking a good look at himself since he had gotten back. He observed the signs of age on his face; things had changed. He wasn't twenty six anymore. He'd survived forty years in hell, life without his brother, and other things he wouldn't wish on the worst of his enemies. And now he was friends with monsters.

Dean was ashamed, for lack of a better word. His new friend was a vampire, and that was something he really had no control over. The guy had helped him out of purgatory. Sam should be grateful. That was more than his brother ever did for him in the past year. And despite all of that, he couldn't shake the guilt that came with his brother's reactions to Benny.

Dean washed his face, brushed his teeth, and took off his pants, tossing them to the side where they'd land beside the toilet. He stepped out into the darkness of their motel room clad in his boxers; his brother was snoring lightly still face down in the bed farthest to the right.

"Sam, I know you're faking it." Dean sat on his own bed.

"Fuck off." Sam grunted, his voice muffled from the pillows.

"Are we gonna talk about this or are you just going to disown me?" Dean didn't expect an answer. He thought he wasn't going to receive one so he began to get into bed. He was opening the covers when he heard Sam's voice.

"No. I'm not gonna disown you. I just wanna know why the hell you're best friends with a monster." Sam was sitting up now.

"He's not a bad guy, Sam. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't even be here right now." Dean watched Sam's silhouette remove its jacket.

"I'm not saying I'm not grateful for what he did, Dean. But remember what he is. He's a monster, and isn't that what we were raised to do? We kill monsters." Sam watched as Dean lied down on his back.

"I owe the guy, Sam. I'm not the type of person that uses a person for their convenience and then cuts their head off." Dean was slowly becoming irritated; his tone of voice was changing.

"That's exactly the type of person we are, Dean! Look at what's happened with anyone we've ever used for anything: Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Ash. Everyone ends up with their heads cut off because of us. Why is Benny so different? Cause he's a monster? Hell, that puts him first in line to die, if you ask me." Sam's eyes followed Dean's silhouette. It stood up and turned on the bedside lamp. The dim light coming from the small light bulb gave Dean's face a faint glow.

"Sam."

One word, and then he broke. Sam said nothing.

"I was in purgatory, for a year. Cas bailed on me, and for so many nights I was positive I was as good as gone. You wanna know what was the only thing that kept me going there? What was the only thing that I could bet my life on? You." Dean stood, "The only thing I knew I could count on while I was there was my little brother fighting like hell against everything we ever strove to beat, and trying like hell to find me."

"But with Lisa- "

"That was different, Sam. I promised you. And do you really think I never thought about it? I couldn't sleep for months after you jumped into the hole. For months, night after night, that's all I'd see. 'It's gonna be okay, Dean. It's gonna be okay.' I'd hear those same damn words, over and over, Sam. And after a while I believed it. And then you came back. Not entirely yourself, but it was better than knowing you were dead."

"Dean- "

"No, Sam. Alright. I owe Benny more than you can imagine. If I hadn't found him, I'd never have gotten back to you. We've fought against so many fucked up things in this life; we've seen so many things that I wish I could erase, and y'know what makes all of that okay? Knowing that I'm not in this alone. Knowing that you're not in this alone." Dean walked towards to the bathroom again. Sam only watched.

"This world is so fucking ugly, Sam." Dean stood facing the bathroom door, "But if there's anything I can say is beautiful, it's you." He stepped into the bathroom again.

Sam stared at the door. His opinion on Benny hadn't changed in the slightest, but he understood where Dean came from. He understood his brother, and he knew he would have done the same if he had been in his position. He came up with a few things he could say in response and went to stand outside the bathroom door. The door opened before he could say anything.

"Listen Dean, I- Are you okay?" his older brother looked like he'd seen something horrible. He opened his mouth to ask again, but he'd only gotten a syllable out before he felt his brother place both hands on his face and pull him down for a kiss. It wasn't passionate, it wasn't soft or sweet. It was a pair of chapped lips meeting another. It was Dean kissing Sam.

Sam found himself responding for the first few seconds before it dawned on him that it was Dean at the other end. He pulled back with more force than necessary and stared at his brother with a look of confusion on his face. Dean responded immediately.

"I'm sorry. Sometimes I still can't believe I'm actually back." Dean rubbed the backside of his neck.

Sam nodded understandingly, "It's okay." He questioned his brother's way of checking in with reality, but he didn't judge him in the slightest way. That was why Sam approached his brother again; swiftly lacing his hands in the hair at the back of Dean's head, and pressed his lips against his brother's again.

Sam pulled back with a small gin, "You're here, Dean. Purgatory's long gone."


End file.
